


love like ghosts

by Wayward_Artist



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Comfort Sex, F/M, Heartbreak, Light D/s, Mild Kink, Post-The Raven King, Praise Kink, Ronan Lowkey Kinky, Ronan is pan?, Rough Sex, Smut, The Barns, air play, blue/ronan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-28 03:36:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16233407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wayward_Artist/pseuds/Wayward_Artist
Summary: Blue and Ronan don’t understand how the other boys go to University, moving on like Noah wasn’t dead and Gansey wasn’t different. How could they leave everything - Henrietta, Ronan, Blue - behind? Heartbroken, and angry, they confide in each other late at night.•Just an excuse to write bronan dependency.





	love like ghosts

**Author's Note:**

> PS. discussion of Ronan’s sexuality - I want to be clear my intention isn’t to erase him being gay. I truly believe Ronan is in love with all of them, including Blue. Maybe not the same love he has for Adam, but Blue and Ronan are so similar, I think they have a bro bond.

Blue had nearly fallen asleep by the time they pulled into the driveway of the Barns. What woke her was the abrupt silence after Ronan shut the car off. Without the shrieking electric guitar, or growl of the engine, the night hung eerily around them. Blue rubbed her eyes, and glanced out her window; glowing eyes could be seen through the trees.

Ronan’s hands fell to his lap. Blue wasn't sure why he had brought her to The Barns; the last time they had been here had been in september, before the other boys left for school. Ronan and Blue had very few reasons to meet at the Barns or in general. 

She didn't want to break the silence, so she waited, playing with the loose thread of her sweater. Crickets, and night creatures chittered in the distance, whispers in the dark

Ronan ripped the keys from the ignition, pulled himself from the car, and slammed it shut. Blue blinked, still drowsy and slow from being woken up in the middle of the night. After a moment, she followed him, stumbling over her boots and tired limbs. She jogged across the gravel to catch up, following the sound of Ronan’s heavy steps.

The interior of The Barns hadn’t change since September. A large antique farmhouse scattered with new and old appliances. Some bought from Ikea, the others taken from dreams. It was weird to be surrounded by the impossible, when very little magic had been in her life since September - very little magic that wasn’t her family. 

A vase of electric blue lilies sat on a wooden stand in the hallway. It had no water in the clear vase, but the lilies were eternally alive, emitting a soft aroma of mowed grass. Blue brushed a finger against one of the velvet petals, and a dusting of shimmering glitter stuck to her hand. Her finger cooled, a breath of icy air fanned over it.

She undid her boots, and listened for a moment; the floor creaked above her, so she ascended to the second floor. The walls were weighed down with paintings that moved, clocks that ran backwards. She poked her head into the rooms along the hall, and found Ronan in the last one, his old room. 

He laid on the bed, his boots and leather jacket still on, and his eyes open. From his crossed arms and narrowed squint, Blue wondered what had him more pissed at the world than usual.

Blue stood in the doorway, unsure what to do, or why she had been brought here. Ronan and Blue had never been close, and once the common factor of the other boys left, they didn’t have a lot to talk about.

She waited, observing him. Ronan belonged in this house - bizarre, impossible and beautiful in the same way the house was. The moonlight shone through the window, illuminating his blue eyes, and the sharp angles of his face. She caught a glimpse of his dark tattoo snaking out from under his collar. He shifted his arm, and settled his gaze on her.

After a moment, his lips curled back. In a low, controlled voice, he hissed, “Parrish found a bride.”

Ah, Blue thought. She had wondered when Ronan would discuss the news of Adam finding a girlfriend at university. He and Adam were not dating, but they had dated, and were still very much in love. Blue knew how it felt. Gansey and Henry had moved halfway across the country without her. A small part of her was also hurt that Adam had fit other people into his life but not them. It’s not that they were all dating, but there had been an unspoken and mutual connection after everything had happened.

She quietly walked over, and crawled onto the large king sized bed. The comforter, white and poofy almost encompassed her. She stretched out her legs, and settled her hands in her lap. Her crocheted leggings, layers of tank tops and distressed sweater felt shabby and out of place in the luxurious room. She noted, too, that Ronan’s boots nearly hung off the edge of the bed, a foot passed her own.

They were silent for a while, both processing heartbreak. The kind that came when your kind-of-boyfriends wanted to travel and explore the world even if that meant leaving you behind. Blue and Ronan could have gone with them, but they both knew, deep down, they wouldn’t be able to give up Henrietta.

Ronan refused to give up his family's property, he hadn't even considered going with Adam as an option. Blue, though she longed to go with Gansey, couldn’t do it on his or Henry’s money. She couldn’t get over how betrayed she felt when Gansey admitted he had fallen out of love with Henrietta.

Ronan’s shaved head was cradled by a marshmallow pillow, his arms clenched around his chest, as if he held himself together. He wasn't crying, but his furrowed brows, and tired eyes held the same pain Blue felt. She shifted to lay on her side facing him.

“Why didn't you go with Dick?” Ronan asked. He turned to face her, half his cheek and mouth eaten by the pillow.

Blue shrugged as best she could while lying down. “I couldn't afford it.” She paused, because that was half a truth, but not the full one. “I couldn't leave after everything that happened. I couldn't forgive them for leaving.”

“Every night I dream of ways to fix things, to make it go back to when it wasn’t a fuckshow.” He clenched his jaw, and shut his eyes gently for a second. She was so close to his face, she felt his uneven breath fan across her lips, and saw the blue veins over his pale eyelids. His dark lashes casted spidery shadows down his cheeks. “To get Noah, or Cabeswater... And they just don't fucking care.”

“They do,” Blue said. “It’s just too painful for them to see every day.”

“Cowards,” Ronan whispered. It wasn’t an insult, but an accusation. It wasn't fair they got to run off and play explorers while Ronan and Blue were left in the rubble.

Blue considered this. “Survivors, I think. We all are.”

Ronan shifted onto his back, and turned his head away from Blue. His adams apple bobbed, and she saw one of the claws of his tattoo ripple. Before she could stop herself, or consider what a bad idea it was, she reached out and trailed a finger down the black ink. Her olive, warm skin seemed darker against his pale neck. She froze, suddenly realizing how not okay Ronan would be with this.

She began to retract her hand, but Ronan’s shot up, and caught her forearm. Blue’s heart hammered in her chest, thrilled, and unsure. Then, he turned his head, and pressed his lips to the inside of her wrist, right over her rapid pulse. His lips, warm and velvet reminded her of the flower petal. Without permission, her breath caught in her throat, and her lips parted in a breathy sigh.

She stretched her hand over his collarbone, following the path of the intricate tattoo to the back of his neck. She felt his pulse against her hand, and the heat that radiated off his skin.

Ronan’s eyes shut, almost as if he was in pain. He pulled her against him one hand on her hip, the other tangled in her hair. Blue let out a shaky breath against his neck.

Ronan was warm and solid. Soft, and gentle at the same time. He pulled out her loose bun, and her dark curly hair cascaded onto the pillow, dusting against his shoulder. The hand on her hip gripped so tight, she felt every hurt, betrayal and loneliness she’d seen in his eyes. The fingers cradling her head barely touched her scalp, dragging goosebumps up her neck.

Ronan ran his hand from her hip, to the small of her back, pulling her tightly against him. Her breath whooshed out of her, she could feel how hard he was against her thigh. She closed her eyes, feeling the smooth curve of his chest against her, and the stronger push of his fingers.

She didn’t need to see to know his lips were almost against hers. There was a pull, almost like opposite magnets pushed together, a charged energy. She took a shaky breath, a jolt of anticipation and fear and adrenaline ran to her gut. It was the rush of love and companionship she had lost, suddenly alive in front of her. He kissed her. 

Blue realized how badly she had been cheated before. Ronan kissed her with words he couldn’t say out loud. He was warm, alive, hot; everything Noah hadn’t been. Everything she’d wanted Gansey to be.

He dragged his lips to her throat, pressing his teeth along her jaw, and she moaned. She felt him grin against her skin.

He rolled over her, grinding his cock against her, hands burning on her skin. Overwhelmed, and wanting more, she hooked her leg around his waist. He was so warm, and solid, she felt jolts of pleasure shooting through her. She rocked against him, Ronan’s moaned low in her ear.

Ronan pulled away, and began struggling to get her layers of tank tops off. He grunted as her hair tangled in a tank top.

“Jesus, Maggot, do you have to dress like a walking goodwill?” he said as the cuff of his jacket caught on her crocheted top.

Blue huffed, almost annoyed.

But then, he ghosted his lips against her shoulder, “It’s nice.”

She helped him removed the layers, and shimmed out of her legging. She only  
had a few moments to be self conscious before he stripped his own clothes off. 

She pushed herself up on her elbows, and he straddled her legs, hands braced on either side of her torso.

“Ronan,” she said. She had to ask, before they went further, or did more. “I thought you were gay?”

Ronan breathed a light laugh, staring at her stomach. “I don’t know what I am.” 

Blue’s forehead creased. “We can stop, if you’re... not sure.”

“I thought I only liked dicks,” Ronan admitted. “When it was just Adam, Noah and Gansey. But, you fucked that one up.”

Blue rolled her eyes, “Blame your sexuality crisis on me. Nice, Lynch.”

Ronan flicked her side. “Don’t be shitty. It’s just - I don’t care if you have tits or  
dress like a fabric store puked on you. Or if Noah had a dick and was a ghost -” 

“That’s kinky.”

“Hypocrite,” Ronan accused, but it wasn’t malicious.

“Fair.” Blue had not known Noah told anyone.

Ronan walked his hands forward until his forearms bracketed her head. He  
twisted a finger into one of her loose curls, staring at it intently.

“So you’re... not gay.” Blue tried to remember the term Orla had used. “Like,  
pansexual?”

Ronan’s lip quirked. “Doesn’t matter. I want you the way I want Gansey and  
Noah.”

“Not like Adam though?”

“No,” Ronan agreed. “Parrish is different.”

Blue understood. She loved the boys the same, wanted all of them in her life. But Gansey held a slightly larger piece of her heart and soul.

Ronan pressed his cheek against hers, nose trailing along her hairline. Blue closed her eyes, hanging her arms around his neck. He shifted, only their underwear between them, and his erection pressed against her clit.

Ronan and Blue barely let each other breathe. Ronan’s hands ran over her breasts, his thighs encased her hips. He pressed hot, wet kisses to her collarbone, and neck.

He rolled them to their sides, lifting one of Blue’s legs over his hip. For a moment, she stared at his red lips, and dilated pupils. His vulnerable expression. What they shared was a deeper, aching pain that manifested after going through traumatic events. It was both of their hearts cut in pieces and handed away to the others; it was a guilty anger that boiled under their skin.

He said, “Fuck, them.”

His hand slipped under her shorts, and he ran a finger between her lips. 

She moaned, eyes squeezed shut, hot and electric. He pressed his lips against her jaw, and pushed his fingers into her, fingers wet and rough. She had masturbated before, but this was so different. It was bursts of pleasure over, and over. Ronan’s teeth pinching her skin, followed by his wet tongue.

Her orgasm took her by surprise, all encompassing pleasure spreading through her body. She lost her voice, and could only gasp as he crooked his fingers and mumbled in her ear, “Jesus, fuck, Sargent.”

Ronan slowly pulled his fingers out, and paused to catch his breath. Blue felt a little light headed, and hyper aware of his erection pressed to her hip.

“We can stop. If you want. You don't have to...” His usual snark and cruelty was gone. This was Ronan laid bare. Ronan’s fingers danced lightly over her thigh, and his eyelashes whispered against her cheek. 

She curled her arm around his back, and pressed her lips against his forehead.“I want to,” she said, and pressed her hand against his stomach. Her heart leapt into her throat, and his breathing became very quiet.

“Hold on,” he mumbled, and reached into the drawer beside the bed. He pulled out a condom, and shot Blue a smirk. “I dreamt this. You’re going to scream.”

Blue closed her eyes, a shudder of excitement and thrill crawling up her spine. Ronan pulled his boxers off, and slipped the condom on. He laid on his back. “You can...” He paused, thinking. “It’s on your terms, Sargent. I’ve done this before, so...”

Blue rose an eyebrow at him. “You think I haven’t?”

Ronan stared at her, as if seeing her in a different light.

Blue shifted her boy shorts off, and slipped her leg over him. His hands rested lightly on her knees, adam’s apple bobbing. She felt his hard cock against her clit, and a shaky breath escaped her lips.

She held his cock, and sank down slowly. Although she had done this before, it had been a random hookup, and the guy hadn’t lasted very long. This was very different. Ronan’s cock twitched, and she moaned as he slipped deeper. The condom, she realized, barely felt like it was there, completely different than the uncomfortable drag of her first time.

Ronan’s head pushed against the pillow, and his fingernails dug into her thighs. She took a moment to get used to the dull ache, the overwhelming stretch of his cock inside her. She braced her hands on his chest, hair falling in front of her face.  
Blue had never rode someone before, but she did her best to do what she thought would feel good. Ronan mumbled to her as she moved up and down.

“Fuck, keep doing that. You feel so fucking good.” Ronan pulled Blue down, wrapping his arms around her. His biceps flexed, and his nails dragged against her back. She moaned at the different angle, his cock pushing deeper inside her.

“Jesus christ,” she hissed against his neck.

Ronan shifted to brace his feet against the bed, his thighs pressing against Blue’s ass. He slid his hands down to her hips, and began grinding his hips up, thrusting into her.

“Oh,” she gasped. “Fuck, Ronan.” She fisted the pillow beside his head, and her other hand rested over the side of his neck.

Ronan’s eyes were shut tight, and his hips jerked up, slapping against her ass. Blue’s fingers pressed over his windpipe, and his cheeks flushed a deep red. He moaned a breathless whine, and stretched his head back. Blue dragged a nail against his adam’s apple, applying slight pressure. 

“Is this okay?” 

“Do not fucking stop,” Ronan growled, pressing his cheek into the pillow.  
Blue pressed her lips to the corner of his mouth, and firmly wrapped her hand around his neck. She knew how to do it without killing him, she had read a lot when she was younger. It was different, though, reading about it at night, and seeing it. Her darker, small hand encasing his flushed, sweaty neck. Ronan’s mouth parted, his eyebrows furrowed.

She remembered ever time Gansey had praised Ronan, all the verbal cues he needed. She leaned forward, her lips pressing to his ear.

“You look s’good,” she moaned. She pressed the tip of her finger under his jaw. “God, your cock feels amazing, ahh...”

Ronan hissed a breath through his teeth, and gripped Blue’s hips.

“You’re doing so good,” she whispered, repeating what she’d heard Gansey say on multiple occasions. ‘You’re amazing, Lynch.”

He groaned, fingers flexing against her skin. “You’re fucking evil, Maggot,” he muttered.

He rolled them over, and Blue hooked her legs behind his back. His cock pounded deep inside her, and she felt her orgasm building. Hot pleasure pooling in her gut, snatching her breath away.

He held himself up on his forearm, and ran his other hand through her hair. Her curls stuck to her sweaty cheeks, and he pushed them back behind her ear. She shifted her hand, still around his neck, and pressed against his pulse.

Ronan lips parted, a long dragged out moan. He pressed his face into the side of her neck, biting at her skin. “Fucking hell, Sargent.”

She didn’t know what she expected, but his orgasm was a lot hotter than she thought it would be. His torso clenched as his thrusts quickened. He buried his head into his arm, and Blue felt him cum, his breathing ragged. He gripped her hair in his hand. Blue ran a hand down his tattoo, and rubbed her clit with the other.

“Oh,” she huffed, her orgasm flooding over her. She clenched around Ronan’s cock, and he groaned into his arm.

They laid for a few moments, both fuzzy and warm. Blue’s thoughts began to clear, and wiped her hand on the sheets. Ronan lifted his head. His eyes were half lidded. Blue trailed her finger along the slight bruise her hand had left on his neck. He shuddered.

He brushed his lips against her cheek, then slipped out of her, and pulled the condom off carefully. She watched him tie it, and then, without warning, he slapped it against her stomach.

She shrieked, “Bastard!”

She swept her arm out, and he fell back against the pillows, body shaking as he laughed. He squinted up at her, a weightless grin on his face. She huffed, and grabbed a tank top from the end of the bed.

“You’re disgusting,” she said. Normally, she would have cussed him out for being a dick, but she didn’t want to ruin his moment of laughter, or what had just happened.

What had just happened?

“You should piss or you’re gonna get a UTI.” Ronan tossed the condom into the garbage, and stretched his arms behind his head. He openly watched as Blue tugged on her underwear, and left for the bathroom.

As Blue sat on the toilet, she took a moment to piece together what had happened. In the moment, leaning over to kiss Ronan had seemed like the sensible option - what else would two equally hurt people do in that situation. But, then she reminded herself it was Ronan. Ronan Lynch, best friend of Gansey, ex lover of Adam, controller of dreams.

A knock on the door startled her. She wiped, and flushed quickly. “Come in.” S

Ronan opened the door, and leaned against the frame. He had his hands in the pockets of his jogging pants. His pinched expression made Blue’s heart dropped. He regretted it.

“Look, Blue,” he said, tone very serious. “I shouldn’t have...” He clenched his teeth, and shook his head looking at his feet. “Like, because of Parrish and Gansey... Fuck, he’s going to be furious, and I..” He trailed off

Blue shut off the tap, and dried her hands on a towel. “I get it,” she said, trying very hard to keep her voice from betraying her hurt. “It was just a rebound thing, we were both lonely and there. I know you don’t... see me like that.”

Ronan looked at Blue, and assessed her face. Blue kept her jaw tight, and didn’t think too much about Gansey or Henry or Adam.

Blue continued on, picking at the edge of her shirt. “Like, it’s fine, I won’t tell anyone so you don’t have to worry about Adam finding out.”

“Christ, Maggot,” Ronan said finally. He reached out, and she let him push her hair out of her face. “I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t mean it.” His hand slid to rest on the back of her neck. “I don’t regret it.”

Blue sighed. “You still care what Adam and Gansey thinks?”

“Yes.” He pulled Blue so he could press his lips to her temple. “Parrish and Gansey are always going to..... I don’t think that’s going to change.”

“Yeah,” Blue whispered against his shoulder. “I know.”

“You too.” Ronan added, patting her wild curls. They both winced as they thought of Noah. “You’re one hot lampshade, Sargent.”

Blue rolled her eyes. “Gee, thanks, Lynch.”

Ronan smirked. “No problem, Witch.” He began walking down the stairs. “We’ll figure this shitshow out tomorrow. I’m fucking starving.”

**Author's Note:**

> This got so out of hand bye. I want to write mor tho I love Ronan and Blue tell me what y’all think


End file.
